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By the time my generation came of age, women could call themselves feminists and also embrace the standard trappings of femininity. We could wear pink, spend money on fancy shoes, and simultaneously expect—no, demand—the same success as men. Femininity and feminism were no longer a contradiction…[but] by turning our back on our mothers’ gender-neutral principles, all while taking it for granted that they had fought the great fight and won, we were unprepared for the fact that sexism still exists.
—My Parents’ Failed Experiment in Gender Neutrality - Newsweek.com
This article is really interesting. If I ever have children, I had always taken it for granted that I would raise them “gender neutral.” And to me, that means not pushing any gender and not having gender role expectations. But the other side of that, in this writer’s experience, is being raised to be androgynous - which had its ups and downs.
I have recently begun to embrace my “femininity,” so I can kinda see where she’s coming from. I used to be a bit ashamed of being “girly,” though on the outside I presented fairly androgynously for most of my adolescence. Gender is a tricky thing. I am certainly a feminist, and I for sure have a strong “feminine” side, but really, why even categorize it? I like what I like, I do what I do. End of story.
Still, there are a lot of issues today with presenting femininely - yep, sexism will come and get you. I’ve noticed I get hit on quite frequently when I dress “femme,” and am pretty much ignored when I dress more androgynously. And it’s super awkward. I’m the same person either way. I don’t necessarily want that attention, but it’s interesting to see how gender still matters so much - and how you dress determines how people see you. Obviously, our society is not past that yet. Hum.
